gorsecloud: (Default)
For those of you who don't know, I'm now moved over to Dreamwidth, and will be staying that way except for my roleplays that don't move and a handful of musebox threads. The customer service and overall respect that the LJ staff has shown their userbase is just appalling. Even if the comment pages are returned to the old style (Which it has already been confirmed will not be happening, at least not completely), the real root of the problem is the deplorable customer service, and I see little being done about that. Yes, we do have some much nicer people at the more local level, but if the people in power don't give a shit about their userbase, the most they're able to offer is words and tiny fixes, which, while nice of them and I'm appreciative of the effort, is not enough to win back my patronage.

Some people might tell me to wait, that I'm moving too hastily. Frankly, I'm a little frustrated that people would consider my decisions any less valid just because they're made a mere two days after the fact. Just because a decision is triggered by strong emotions does not automatically make that decision hasty and irrational.

Frankly, in some ways you need the strong emotional reaction to do things that need to be done. The real life equivalent I want to compare the current situation at Livejournal to... I'm not going to, because I'm worried I'll be accused of comparing apples to oranges over a very serious matter. So I'll compare it to something else a little less touchy: my current situation with my roommates.

For those of you who don't know or follow me on plurk regularly, I currently live in an apartment with three other people at my college. At first, things were fine, but lately, there have been more and more instances of severe lifestyle differences and irresponsible behavior/lack of respecting boundaries on the part of my roommates. I have difficulty speaking up normally, owing to my tendency to devalue my own opinions and my shyness and dislike of confrontation. As such, the current problems include but are not limited to: my roommate chewing me out for leaving out dirty dishes (because I'd been distracted while emptying the dishwasher so I could put them in there) while the roommate chewing me out has left food out multiple times while going to spend the night at her boyfriend's, overall leaving out food in the pots and pans on the stove rather than storing them in the fridge or whatnot (and when I brought up the above issues and overall cleanliness in the kitchen, I was told to "take the initiative" a.k.a. clean up their messes for them), at least one instance of my roommate entering my private bedroom area without my prior knowledge or consent, and an item I let my roommates borrow being removed from the apartment and taken elsewhere without my knowledge or permission.

Then there's the mice.

To explain, my roommate brought home two mice, breaking about five different rules:
  1. We are not allowed pets other than fish in our apartment building
  2. The only approved pets in the apartments period are cats, dogs and fish
  3. In order to obtain a pet, you must go to the apartment office and sign a special form
  4. Part of the above mentioned form involves obtaining written permission of all your roommates. Neither I nor at least one of my other roommates' permission was obtained prior to getting the mice
  5. To have a pet, you have to pay a 100 dollar down payment for possible damages.

I should have complained from the start, but I liked the mice, and I was worried I was complaining too much or making too big a deal out of it. Overall things were okay for a while, except for the fact that my roommates used a cardboard box as a playpen. Both mice have gotten out, one of them has never been found. My roommate - the one who bought the mice - left for Christmas break without making any provisions for someone to care for the mouse, or even refilling the remaining mouse's food, or cleaning her glass cage, so I had to do so the other day to make sure that the mouse didn't starve and we didn't come home to a stinky apartment, since our Christmas break is nearly a month.

So. What does this all have to do with LJ? I caught the mouse the second time it escaped. During that emotional extreme, I decided that it was best for me to move out. As I waited and calmed down, however, I began to undervalue my decision, and ultimately set myself up for further frustration and fighting with my roommates. I've had further instances that are helping me to reaffirm my decision, but the point is: sometimes you NEED an emotional extreme to get out of a bad situation.

If people want to stay, that's fine. I respect that, and you all need to make whatever decision is best for you. For me, this is the best decision.

Would like to have a better finisher, but I gotta run. See you all and have Happy Holidays!
gorsecloud: (friends - well go together)
I'm going to be upfront and say right now that if you're an atheist or skeptic this might not be the journal entry for you. Not that I have any problem with that - you're perfectly welcome to believe or not believe whatever you wish or want to - just that you might not appreciate me talking a lot about God in this entry.

And here is a cut so you don't have to read if you don't want. )


Hope everyone's having a good day!
gorsecloud: (Awkward Gorse is awkward)

You know, it kind of bothers me that any day I take my ADHD meds, I almost invariably am up until 6 am (this stuff is supposed to be short acting). And almost invariably, it's on one of my days with the 9 am class. And of course today, I can't exactly go to class then come back to my apartment and sleep until 4 pm either, because my mom is coming to pick me up for the homecoming game. Should be fun - will hopefully see some old high school buddies of mine. Maybe I'll even get to play some Abyss while I'm at home. I've kind of been wanting to canon review but I don't have many anime episodes with sh!Luke.

In other news the PMD game, [livejournal.com profile] riftedguilds is chugging along. Hoping to have it up and ready to open in... a couple weeks tops. I'm apping Luke there (and no one was surprised), and am looking forward to working with Ran and Holo on this thing. I just hope I'm not getting in over my head because hahhhh running a game is serious crap, you know? I really need to avoid the rpanoncomm more. It's so paranoia-inducing and I really freak the hell out over things enough (just ask Saffy) without adding to that, and yet at the same time I'd rather learn from others mistakes than make them myself.  I also worry about being able to run it and being able to keep up with my current games - [livejournal.com profile] luceti and [livejournal.com profile] paradisa. I'm never gonna have an impressive muselist, I think... and tbh I think I'm okay with that.

I am also beginning to wonder if I've always had my blinders on for politics or if this crap really is as insane as it looks like it is - Topeka's game of chicken with its own county governments, the whole "Personhood" movement in Mississippi, the anti-Abortion law in Congress... Am I the only one who sees this as the government playing games with people's lives and livelihoods? Because it's not funny anymore. It never really was funny, but when someone guilty of assault gets to walk right back out of prison to go beat their victim even more for having the gall to tell on them, all because the city and county governments are having a tiff over who wants to pay for it? When a woman has to be afraid of criminal investigation because of a natural miscarriage, or is afraid her life-saving abortion will be denied just because some person has set the rules that way to fit their own ideology?

Good lord, I hate politics.

Okay, now that you've followed my meandering train of thought everywhere. I think I'm done. ... I think. If not I'll come edit or something idk. Also, Saffy and Kukki are my not!moms, and awesome not!moms they are. Also Cherry is either my sibling or my original. Just thought everyone should know that.

Okay going to attempt to pass the hell out and get some sleep before class.

gorsecloud: (Default)
I wrote this story sometime in... 11th grade I think. It's a vignette-style format, something that I always have liked experimenting with, and is good for conveying, I think, the way thoughts can meander and fragment. 

This is a story of, honestly, a very personal nature, which is why only friends will be able to see it. But it is the explanation over a lot of my idiosyncrasies, and also a kind of... story of my life/self. 

Please be kind. As stated, this story is incredibly personal to me. 

----------------------------------

Read more... )

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