gorsecloud: (Goldangit Gorse go to bed)
gorsecloud ([personal profile] gorsecloud) wrote2012-02-27 04:17 am

30 Memories Writing Challenge

In celebration and anticipation for the upcoming KH3D release, I will be doing the [livejournal.com profile] 30_memories writing challenge, one for each day up until the Japanese KH3D release. No pairings, though all will be Xion-centric (and as such will all have HUGE SPOILERS for Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days) because that's just how I roll. Besides, this particular challenge is way too fitting for her.

I should probably get a writing account or comm at some point... oh well.

Not sure if I'll get one up today. If I do, I'll edit this post. |D

Back to your regularly scheduled lives, fellow passengers of Spaceship Earth.

EDIT: Done.

Day 357 1 - Prompt Chosen: Tears
A.k.a. GDIT GORSE WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND ANGST

It was not a perfect day, and it wouldn't have a perfect ending. The sunset had been that one golden moment, that shining hour of normalcy amid the turbulence of what had been happening. It had helped keep away the storm of emotion that crashed over later that night, curled up alone on her bed in her room. For that she was grateful. She couldn't break down around Axel, and especially not around Roxas. They would have asked questions she couldn't answer, and Roxas wouldn't have understood.

She'd been frantic, trying to find away to stop herself from slowly eating her best friend alive. She wasn't supposed to have feelings - or maybe she was, who knew if Replicas really had hearts or not - and yet she'd been so panicked, upon seeing the face of her true opponent just a few scant hours ago. She hadn't realized, she'd thought they'd needed her and Roxas, and their Keyblades... she'd never have imagined they wanted one of them dead.

It was a realization. She was out of time. Either her life or Roxas's would have to end, and for her, the latter was not even open for consideration. She didn't belong here. She had to go back. And now the last ties she had to the life she'd led needed her to die, for their own sake.

What she'd told Roxas earlier - they didn't have anywhere to run - was a half-truth. If it were just the Organization, or even if Riku had chosen to hunt for them too, then they could have just run. Run and run and kept running until it didn't matter anymore. But it wasn't that simple. The true enemy of their coexistence, of the times spent together on the clock tower, or out doing missions, was her. No matter how far they got, how long they ran, she would still be there. Nothing would change that inescapable fact. For Roxas to live, she would have to die. It was that simple.

And yet it hurt.

She'd wanted to stay with them forever, done everything she could, and yet it had all been for nothing. It would be gone in the blink of an eye. She had no idea what would happen. Not having his memories had kept Sora asleep; so much of her was memories - what would happen when those memories were back where they belonged? Would there be any of her even left to remember?

There's a part of her that's still so scared. What would it be like to disappear? Would she know anything, feel anything after? There was some small comfort in knowing where she was going back to Sora, returning back to his heart and staying there. It was the only thing she felt truly sure about.

But everything else still hurt.

It hurt so much that alone in her room that night, she couldn't stop the tears running down her face; tears she was not supposed to be able to shed, tears she had no right to shed, when she'd made so many mistakes, and her existence caused so many problems and hurt so many people. And it'd only gotten worse, when she'd reached up to wipe her eyes, and felt a face that wasn't hers, reached up and brushed against spikes of hair that weren't hers. In her panic the sobs had returned, stronger than ever, tears blurring her vision once more until she could barely even notice that the strands between her fingers were black and straight once more.

No one would know the first time Xion had ever really cried herself to sleep. The next day she sat up, wiped her face and got to her feet, her head already churning with plans and ideas as she pulled her hood up over her head, unsurprised that it didn't slip around her head as easily as it usually did.

She'd indulged herself. Now she had to act.

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